July/August 2020
'Bob, those snake-proof waders look promising. Have you tested them in the salt water?'
Lester Jackson, Arlington, TX
May/June 2020
'I'm sorry, Bob, but a bad back cast is considered a pre-existing condition!'
Brian Williams, Kennewick, WA
March/April 2020
'All I said was I have Corona. Guess he doesn't want a beer.'
Craig Dennison, Pittsford, NY
January/February 2020
'If it wasn't barbless, I would have lost the whole thing!'
Michael Cornelius, Athens, AL
November/December 2019
'I said, "Stay your distance" not "play Deliverance."'
Bob Bumstead, Eugene, OR
September/October 2019
'It's part of the new hatchery drone program!'
Hank Robb, West Linn, OR
July/August 2019
'I told you not to chum your fly with Viagra.'
Paul Matteucci, Burlingame, CA
May/June 2019
'OMG—is it midge season already?'
Quentin Keefe, Conway, NH
March/April 2019
'My ex-wife also wants half of the fish I catch.'
Del Henry, Milton-Freewater, Oregon
January/February 2019
'You boys look like you could use a little help.'
Michael Leonardo, Hurley, New York
November/December 2018
'I know you're using worms, Johnny!'
Matthew Opalka, Columbia Falls, Montana
September/October 2018
'Geez, the wives will stop at nothing to keep tabs on us!'
David Hoekzema, Glenwood, Maryland
July/August 2018
'Oh, come on. One little barb won’t hurt you.'
John Surles, DeQuincy, LA
May/June 2018
'I like my martini dry, just like my flies.'
Terry Sullivan, Texas
March/April 2018
'I know, I know, just make sure when I die that you don't sell them for what I told you I paid for them.'
Carlos Fushimi, Idaho
January/February 2018
'Make all the jokes you want. I haven't paid for a nymph in 10 years.'
Daniel Peterson, Santa Monica, California
November/December 2017
'We never should have let Congress sell our public lands.'
Paul Downing, Fountain Hills, Arizona
September/October 2017
'Let's just say 'left' or 'right' from now on instead of 'port' or 'starboard. ''
Cody Coyne, Starkville, Mississippi
July/August 2017
'Son, your reason not to find a job is here!'
Mike Space, Albuquerque, New Mexico
May/June 2017
'I used to call my wife Dark Cloud when she was alive. Now that she's gone, she still won’t cut me a break.'
Tony Spagnolia, Willow Grove, Pennsylvania
March/April 2017
'If I’m lying, may the Lord strike me down.'
Jeff Perry, Narragansett, Rhode Island
January/February 2017
'I understand you don't like anchovies, but this may be the only fish we get all day.'
Greg Kisinger, Renton, Washington
November/December 2016
'Wow! It's so awesome when a muskie finally
takes a fly.' Virgil Powell, Waterloo, Iowa
takes a fly.' Virgil Powell, Waterloo, Iowa
September/October 2016
'You're a bottom-feeder and I sip Tricos. It'll never work.'
Mark Altman, Greenwood Village, Colorado
July/August 2016
'I love fly fishing. My son's into body piercing. It's my attempt to bond with him.'
Thomas Trelease, Oneonta, New York
May/June 2016
'McCoy! Report to the transporter room on the double! Bring a bucket of water. Oh, and don't forget your hemostat!'
George Brakatselos, Bronxville, New York
March/April 2016
'Hey, Fred, it's been an hour already. Are you sure you stocked this thing?'
George Brakatselos, Bronxville, New York
January/February 2016
'Five times in one day on a Blue Winged Olive?!
The diagnosis is clear: you are a nymphomaniac.' Jeffrey Missimer, Hoboken, New Jersey
The diagnosis is clear: you are a nymphomaniac.' Jeffrey Missimer, Hoboken, New Jersey
November/December 2015
'No, he's not coming out. He's trying to attract that big rainbow'
Sam Capricci, Palm Harbor, Florida
September/October 2015
'Spawning season again already?'
Mark Carter, Mukilteo, Washington
July/August 2015
'It's on loan from the Trout Hall of Fame. He lived to be 12 and broke over 500 tippets in a single year.'
Stratton Hunter, Hendersonville, North Carolina
May/June 2015
'I see a very large trout in your future.
Unfortunately, it is associated with a
very poorly tied blood knot.' Gregory Moore, Pueblo, Colorado
Unfortunately, it is associated with a
very poorly tied blood knot.' Gregory Moore, Pueblo, Colorado
March/April 2015
'What do you expect when using a Chernobyl Ant?'
Jatin Mehta, Shippenville, Pennsylvania
January/February 2015
'So, this is what humans do all day when they're not fishing.”'
Senta Stelma, Black Diamond, Washington
November/December 2014
'Touch me with that thing and I'll knock you into that trout stream!'
George Jodeksnis, Groveland, Florida
September/October 2014
'No—I said it’s a dragging fly, not a dragonfly!'
Deb Kramer,, Kalispell, Montana
July/August 2014
'Did you not understand that you were asked to testify, not test a fly?'
Ricky Kidd,, Andrews, Texas
May/June 2014
'God as my witness: that brownie was 25 inches if it was an inch.'
Joe Carter,, Fallon, Nevada
March/April 2014
'Wanna give Tenkara a try?'
Axel Schug, Napa, California
January/February 2014
'Hey, Stan, the water is coming up.
Have you seen Shorty?
'
Terry Dahlquist, Sunriver, Oregon
November/December 2013
'You know, a man can never have too many vises!'
Bruce Phillips, Wenatchee, Washington
September/October 2013
'You're right. There are Whoppers in this stream'
Dave Hunter, Austin, Texas
July/August 2013
'Ma'am, I have been here for 30 years.
They will be back when the beer runs out.'
William Hubbard, San Jose, California
May/June 2013
'Sam, they're fish, not Congress!'
Ted Hasselbring, Nashville, Tennessee
January/February 2013
'Son, this is the best way I know to explain marriage.'
Steve McDermott, Kalispell, Montana
Fall 2012
'The dude must think we're hatchery fish.'
Ladin Langeman, Medical Lake, Washington
Summer 2012
'Now I decide who is a keeper'
Suzanne Springer, Prescott, Arizonia
Spring 2012
'You can take away my car keys, put me in
a retirement home, but you will have to pry
my fly rod out of my dead, cold fingers!
'
Michael Beachy, Goshen, Indiana
Winter 2012
'I just love the smell of burning head cement in the morning.'
Fred Grimes, Fredericksburg, Texas
November/December 2011
'It's perfect! Close to the feeding lanes. Good schools. And you don't see quality like this anymore. '
Dale Haar, Roswell, Georgia
September/October 2011
'So you thought guiding would be an easier gig, eh?
'
Jay Boucher, Redmond, Oregon
July/August 2011
'Sure I'm attracted to you, but only if there are no strings attached.'
Bill Burtch, Powell, Ohio
May/June 2011
'With these new, high-end rods, you really have to watch your line speed.'
Jim Williams, Colorado Springs, Colorado
March/April 2014 2011
'That's one way to get a drag-free drift.'
William Docekal, Lexington, Virginia
January/February 2011
'He got the wings right and it's hackled nicely, but he forgot to crimp the barb.
'
Mark Altman, Greenwood, Colorado
November/December 2010
'Since you seem to be tied up at the moment, do you mind if I fish this hole?
'
Fred Grimes, Fredericksburg, Texas
September/October 2010
'So when you say last cast, you actually mean it, don't you?'
Larry Keil, Durango, Colorado
July/August 2010
'No, I am the Dalai Lama. The Dolly Varden you seek is in the river below.
'
Rich Smith, Brevard, North Carolina
May/June 2010
'Hey! The season is closed. We don't have to play dead anymore.'
Michael Beachy, Goshen, Indiana
March/April 2010
'Bob, I'm sorry, but you're being 'released.''
Tiffany Mapel, Durango, Colorado
January/February 2010
'I should have been more specific when I wished
to be stranded on a desert island with my first love.'
Lee Anne Ackerman, Cody, Wyoming
November/December 2009
'First of all, you can't catch swine flu from pigs.
Second, I'll do all of the hawg-catchin' around here.'
John Ferry, Exton, Pennsylvania
September/October 2009
'Sorry, dude, can't help myself. I'm hooked!'
Matt Avila, Aloha,Oregon
July/August 2009
'My float tube had a leak, so I grabbed my grandkids' floatie.'
Kelley Jones, Bend, Oregon
May/June 2009
'Is this riffle breaking to the left or to the right?'
Zach Porcello, Chester, New Jersey
March/April 2009
'So your wife believes you're at a kid's birthday party.'
Don Melican, Normal, Illinois
January/February 2009
'Who taught you the whip-finish-Jackson Pollack?'
Bob Margulis, Seattle, Washington
November/December 2008
'Guides? We don't need no stinking guides.'
Bill Andren, Spotswood, New Jersey
September/October 2008
'This must explain that ridiculous cigar pattern I just saw float by.'
James Drummond, Murrieta, California
July/August 2008
'He's dressed in flyagra to stay on top longer.'
George Grover, Marietta, Georgia
May/June 2008
'Don't tell my wife, but I think I'm gonna need a bigger rod.'
Chris Noe, Boise, Idaho
March/April 2008
'Don't bug him...he's fixin' to cast a spell.'
Chris Noe, Boise, Idaho
January/February 2008
'Don't look at me ...
I already told you to go fishing.'
Jonathan Winfield, Middletown, New York
November/December 2007
'All rise!'
Luke Brown, Seattle, Washington
September/October 2007
'See, I told you this show has the worst cast you've ever seen.'
Brad Hills, Alpine, Utah
July/August 2007
'He won't be needing these anymore!'
Axel Schug, Napa, California
May/June 2007
'Doesn't look like any insect I've ever seen. Yet I feel strangely attracted to it.'
Gary Soucie, Williamstown, Massachusetts
March/April 2007
'Hold on there, Neptune, and count your blessings. I could'a snagged Uranus.'
Ed Edenfield, Baxter, Tennessee
January/February 2007
'They're partial to Big Butt emergers.'
Chris Doyle, Boise, Idaho